minoring in the majors

Last week I was at West Point for a Brass instrument repair clinic, and in many ways it was the culmination of a few years of tinkering, a brave look at life beyond performance, a look into the path not chosen, a chance to have a respectable social life, a return to my cold weather roots, love of the outdoors and a chance to prove my integrity to myself and my wife. I advanced on every single front, and even saved a bit of money as I experienced all of this.

I brought a book home that gave me a look into our fears of terrorism and helped me put a finger on some of the nameless fears that have kept me silent and stiff since I joined the Army. Then during a two hour kids class I chatted man to man with one of the most respected persons I have met at the West Acres Baptist Church. Not only validating some of my mental subroutines, he helped me decompress from being in the Army and feel like I have made more than trivial progress towards being a Christian husband and father. You know you have had a good conversation when you step out of it looking at yourself and the other person with a type of smile that you had only vaguely subconsciously hoped for.

So much of our dreams are locked away in the 'not allowed' section of our brains and it comes as a brilliant ray that comes from a deep unlocked potential and ability to obey and trust that things may actually have taken a positive turn.

I know that the outward experience of having extra money, freedom from home responsibilities, beautiful scenery and long-wanted training can be used by the devil as he did with Job that my change is circumstantial. I am aware of that downfall, and as I return slowly to my responsibilities in my less spectacular situation I realize that I am not really stepping down at all but returning to my higher purpose after a short retreat to what I view to be the core of our military pride and strength, and getting back in the trenches with my lovely wife who deserves to see more than hope, more than another season of waiting.

Viewing my Kids as the Adults they will be is the star of the show, and I having stepped aside to work returned to a surprise at the Airport validating my greatest happiness that they really want me in their life and I have a reason to continue growing.